I've been realizing that I'll never learn to worry about some things in the way that others seem to, and I'm really coming to appreciate that. I get these bits of luck and pieces of perfect timing, and it's hard not to believe that they'll just keep coming. I save my nervousness for other things. If I could learn that the world wouldn't end if certain people knew how I feel about them, and why, things would be much better.

The other day, for a moment, there was snow. I looked through the window and saw it swirling around and then I was suddenly busy with something. Later I remembered and looked for it again, and it was gone, and the world was sunny, and it was as though I had imagined it. I wouldn't even mind if I had, I'd just be proud of my exceptionally convincing imagination. Tomorrow just after sunrise, Jackpot and I are going to look for more snow, and maybe a castle if we can find one. I'd like to find that spooky field of flowers I dream all of the time, but I suspect it doesn't exist.

Suddenly I'm remembering last night's dream, with little boys in dracula capes, and twisting paths, and boxes of books and tape recorders, and zombies, and rows of shelves of flowering plants, and two kinds of time code. It was a good dream.

Right now This Old House is on, and the crossword puzzle is sitting behind me, and it feels nearly like a perfect Sunday. Island At War ends tonight, and I'll probably cry a little. It's cold out, but it still smells springy. I don't know, today I'm just happy and hopeful. I'm looking forward even to difficult moments, because they'll be worthwhile, I think.

p.s. I forgot to say, I hadn't seen the article, but I looked it up afterward. The lights are pretty. Also, hearts are perfect, and even if you aren't a drawer exactly, as I'm not, they almost always look so nice in the end. The during is pretty satisfying too.