Well...

I guess I've been in a terrible mood for the past two weeks. I'm not sure why. Part of it, I guess, was that I was feeling a little overwhelmed, schoolwise. Sometimes I feel like the only one there who hasn't had prior experience doing this sort of work. Which, I know, is absurd, but realizing that doesn't seem to keep me from feeling that way.

Today, however, I'm feeling kind of great. I had my first practical test yesterday, which I was a bit unprepared for, and I got a ninety on it. Out of one hundred, that is. So, I feel pretty good about that. It was administered by none other than Lloyd (psuedonym, of course), whom I have been secretly harboring a crush on. Quite secretly. So secretly, in fact, that the casual obsever would be hard-pressed to tell whether I was even aware of Lloyd's existence. Unless that casual observer had been present during the practical test, during which I fairly gushed with embarrassing girlishness.

It isn't typically like me to fall apart that way, but I was nervous about the test (which the first student to take, seeming to have a good grasp of the material prior to the test, had failed), and eager to make a good impression on Lloyd. He's just so smart, and so good at things, and so sarcastic and gruff, and oh...I want him to like me! I want him to respect my intelligence and my grasp of of concepts that, until recently, were entirely unfamiliar to me!

And I think Lloyd does. Like me, I mean. He seemed amused rather than annoyed by how flustered I was during the exam. And, though it may be wishful thinking, I think he gave me more hints than he probably should have. And when I made sarcastic comments out of nervousness, he laughed in that great, sincere, caught off guard sort of way that I love. And when I leaned toward him to reach for something, he kept his head close to mine instead of pulling back, which I fully expected him to do. Am I gushing now? Golly, it's like I'm thirteen...

So, where was I? Oh, yes, practical exam, ninety points, very pleased. And I've turned in two assignments this week, ahead of schedule, and did well on a written test, and am fairly confident about the next written test. Fairly confident in general, actually. I feel like lying on a grassy hill, arms folded up under my head, and smiling up at the sky with my eyes closed, you know?

I think I've done enough damage for now. See you around, whoever might be reading this.