I worry sometimes that I'm too negative, that I don't like anything, and then I realize that I'm practically drowning in things I love. I just have to remember to look their way.

There are probably a number of formulas that could have gotten me to how I feel right now, but here are the steps of the formula I chose to use, however accidental that choice was:

first : Long walks on wet and dreary evenings. I love the weather we've been having. I love when night is not much darker than day. I love the water in my eyelashes. I love that nearby neighborhoods can seem like magic because I've never had a reason to go in and explore them. It's a bit like finding hidden rooms in your own home. I dream of rooms like that, full of boxes and birdcages, and a grand piano or two.

second : The New Afternoon Show. Remember how I used to listen every day? Of course you don't, but I do. I don't know why I stopped; it's always so good. Especially on dark afternoons, when rain is hitting the windows. Nearly every song becomes my favorite song, at least until the next one starts. And it was a wonderful idea to take it outside with me out to a damp park bench. I watched the planes fly through the clouds, and they looked like ghost planes, all vague shape and flashing lights.

third : Francis. Can a person be a step? I'm making him one. There were reasons that we were each other's favorites for so long, and I don't think that those reasons are gone. I don't know what made us slowly back away from each other, or why I didn't really notice it until we had already achieved so much distance, but maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe what does matter is that we've been steadily creeping back toward each other, and that feels truly good. Hopefully tonight will reinforce that. Which leads me to...

fourth : It may not be a step so much as it is a painfully obnoxious hipster neighborhood, but if I'm going to be honest, I'll have to admit that it is the location of all of my best nights. Or most of them, at least. I'm going to stop fighting it. And quiz night has always been a great thing in the past, and I need to get back into the things that have proven themselves good to me. All we need now is a good team name...

fifth : I've not quite gotten this far. Maybe tomorrow.

So, I've decided to be optimistic. It feels good. There are so many good things, and it would be wrong to ignore them. I'm even enjoying the cold, cold day today has been, because it leaves me no choice but to wear my gloves, which are posssibly the greatest gloves anyone has ever owned. I wish you could see them.

p.s. Twenty-six degrees, but it's supposed to feel like five to ten degrees. Is it colder where you are? I bet it is.