Some things that we do don't matter at all, because we don't mean them at all. Pretending to dance with imaginary partners. Except that you are and they aren't. If you try hard enough not to assume something, it's so easy to accidentally assume the opposite. I would really like to be lighter-hearted right now. The extra month is going to be rough.

I feel clumsy, and my heart beats too fast. Can I work on being graceful, or is it too late for me? If my ballet career hadn't been cut short (and by career I mean the handful of lessons I took when I was eight), this might not be a problem. I could, I suppose, run through the arm and leg positions every day. I could do imitation pirouettes on the elevator, when no one's looking. How can I improve the grace of my thoughts?

I'm too cold for this. It's winter again. Storm advisories and school closings. It hasn't gotten to us yet, but I keep looking outside for it. I'll go for a walk and maybe I'll get caught.