Of course I should know better, but what would be the point? Yesterday was weird because I knew he'd be where he expected me to be, but I still decided to go somewhere else. One by one, everyone suggested, "Hey, let's go to that movie," so I did and it was good to go, especially before the movie. At first it was just Michael and the Egg and me, Michael harumphing, and the Egg haunting me right across the street, and smelling flowers in the rain, and admiring the electrified sidewalk. After disapproving of umbrellas and talking about robots some, we found everyone else and took up nearly a whole row of seats. George and the Captain sat at either end, passing a sack of smuggled in candy back and forth like the moms (we were so many we needed two), and we all laughed at the same times because we all know the same private jokes. It was so good, and even the movie itself was okay.

The problem comes with everyone saying goodnight so early, it comes with having the excuse of my weepy friend being in New York all of a sudden (everyone's in New York all of a sudden). I said, "I just want to go home," and Michael said, "So just go home," and I started to and then I don't know what. When I walked in there were his friends, and they like me and I like them, so that was fine. He wasn't there and I didn't ask, and that was fine too, until he walked in, wearing a new haircut and seeming happier to see me than I'd expected. When he hugged me I couldn't properly hug back, I inadvertantly went tense and thought, "I guess even my body feels a bit resentful."

Sometimes I just get levelheaded, and it's startling. I left him alone to talk to someone else, and that went well, until the current Most Annoying Boy in the World came over. We have nothing in common, and we have never had a decent conversation about anything, and he has a crush on me for no reason other than I'm a girl he knows. Also, for reasons I don't understand, he is one of K.'s best and oldest friends. So, he comes over and K. follows and is awkward and protective of me, and where did levelheaded go? Sometimes he's just so clumsy and uncertain that I can't help it. At the end of the night we're alone, and sometimes everything he says seems like code for, "I like you well enough, but not as much as you like me," and I want to talk about it, but more than that I want to sit and be quiet, so I do. Everything depends on where you are and when, and to talk about something and have it go badly there and then would have been too depressing, I think. I'll let it go badly some other time.

Today the sky is terribly blue. I have a strange bruise on my arm, oddly placed and oddly colored. The scaffolders were pretty active this morning, and I think I saw some coils of rope. Watching the news, I remembered my love for Pat Kiernan, and I feel sorry for people who live anywhere else, who don't get to see the look on his face when he talks about newspapers. Today he lost it over Lindsay Lohan, and I want to marry him sometimes, even if he does read Newsday. It's just part of his job.