I'm entirely unsettled today. I mean, I've been unsettled all week, but today is the worst of it. I broke a plate a couple of days ago and it must be some sort of super jinx, because I've felt like doom ever since. Or maybe it's just that I lost my bird ring in an unfortunate handwashing accident, and my heart can't get over it. I watched it go right down the drain and nearly burst into tears. Instead I went behind the bar and told Cape Cod who said she'd see what she could do and then gave me a beer, but all the beer in the world isn't worth my bird ring. I feel ridiculous and heartbroken, but gosh, I need that ring. I'm going to go in and see about it later, and when I'm told it's gone forever I'll get a sick butterfly feeling and try not to cry while one or two someones hug me and give me a drink with cherries in it, but cherries won't make me feel better. Doom.

I told someone I loved them today, and I'm not sure I meant it.

Tonight I have an awkward birthday to attend when all I want to do is hide in my bed. It will be alright, I'll wear a librarian skirt and act up, I'll call Danger and we'll stay out too late, giving strangers a hard time. The other night we found a man sitting alone, reading in the dark, so we adopted him and named him Young Scholar. It seemed to make him happy, we chattered while he smiled. He was worried that he wouldn't live up to the name, but the best thing about strangers is that as long as you never see them again, they can't disappoint too badly. He seemed nice and then we vanished like ghosts, so even if he secretly hated us, he didn't have to hate us for too long.

I don't know, I'm thinking about a lot of things, but I'm trying to take the sheet of paper all the thoughts are listed on in my mind and fold it up so small that I can only see one or two at once. Clean up a bit and take a shower and try to feel brand new enough to have a nice night. I have no idea of the weather forecast, but I'm on the lookout for snow. It's always on nights like this that it creeps up on you. Oh, my ring, my ring, my ring.