Francis wrote, "HI!" and I couldn't tell the I and the ! apart. It was a font problem. A combination of font and eyes.

I have a headache throughout the entire structure of my skull. Last night I spoke to my father for more than an hour, and didn't hang up until just after one. He's on the other side of the country, so he didn't notice the time. Afterwards I went to bed with shaking blood, so it took me more than two hours to fall asleep, and then up at seven like it was a perfectly fine idea. It's not a worry, I know how to sleep now, and last night was just a special circumstance. The only side effect is the skullache.

Last night I said all kinds of things. Instead of giving up and trying to last it out, I said, "Wait," and then told him how I actually felt. It was crazy. My voice was certain enough, but I think he still thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I spent fifteen years learning how to avoid telling him things, and I just switched it off all at once, and I don't regret it even slightly. For a little while, here and there, I felt like he was really thinking about what I was saying, which I don't think he's ever done before if the topic was in any way personal or emotional. I have so many thoughts about this that I thought I could write out here, but I don't know how. I don't know how a lot of things.

It's hot today. I'm in an air-conditioned room. It seems that if the air is being conditioned it should be learning some kind of behavior. After a certain number of treatments it should know well enough to stay cool on its own, but the air doesn't learn anything. Once in a while I hold my hands over the vents until they're cold, and then I press them against my aching skull. It feels good. I'm excited about going to bed tonight. Tomorrow I have a terrible meeting, but afterwards I'm going to Brooklyn, and I'm not never coming back.