This is going to be the year of huge, sweeping mistakes and it's great. Look, I've started already. I think I have a thing about letting things happen, just to see. I'm not willing to call this a problem, no matter how many times it ends badly. First: I didn't consider George. She is going to be angry with me, I don't think she ever has before. She is going to be angry with me and everyone will agree with her because she's probably right.

In the early afternoon we went to breakfast while the boys kept sleeping. Gone longer than expected and back too late to say goodbye. He's a worrier, he needs goodbyes, from all the way over here I can feel him worrying about what I think of him. "I wasn't avoiding you, we weren't talking about you, it's okay, it's okay" It feels nice to smile and mean it. "Now you've seen me being paranoid." Michael will be angry with me too. He's been angry with me before though.

My mp3 player is killing me. I changed the songs last night. The sky was beautiful today. My first time asleep this year was better than every time last year. It's weird the way I'm so used to feeling uncomfortable that I forget there are other ways to feel. I danced, I never dance, I danced and I liked it. Life is working like a clock.