I am failing reading comprehension. He says, "Watch this, it is hilarious," and I don't understand. It's not that I think the joke is stupid, I literally cannot understand it. I watched the whole thing and it's like some kind of foreign guitar language, and I don't speak guitar. Who's the simpleton here? We both are!

Anyway, I just want to sleep with him all of the time, just be asleep next to him, like Snow White or whoever was in that glass coffin, asleep for years, but it will be two of us. Did I make that up? Is there a part of the Snow White story where she sleeps in a glass coffin for years?

In other news, my arms have ached every day of this year. Everyone keeps talking about the cold, but I can't feel it. It's still January, so it's not too late, my final New Year's resolution is that I want to be perfect.