It's a strange position to be in.

It's like living multiple lives. Who I am and how I feel are entirely dependent on who I'm with, or what I'm doing. For some reason, lately, I'm never happier than when I'm waiting on a subway platform, with my walkman turned all the way up. (I should be more careful with my ears, but I just can't help it.)

I also enjoy those moments when, during conversations, I become really sharply focused and know exactly how to express myself, both precisely and concisely. I spend so much time in my head that I seem to have developed a secret code that I communicate with myself in, which is difficult to impossible for others to decipher. There aren't many people I would try talking to that way. The only person it really works with is my younger brother. I can describe something to him in a way that shouldn't make any sense, and he'll know just what I mean. He always seems baffled by the fact that it makes sense to him, but he likes that it does. So do I.

I have to go to a party tomorrow night. It is guaranteed to be awkward. I'm looking forward to it. I plan to be aloof and mysterious, and to wear an expression which implies that I'm thinking of some simultaneously fascinating and amusing secret, and "oh, wouldn't you like to know what it is?" This plan will probably fall apart after a couple of drinks, but it should be fun while it lasts.

I'm listening to the nicest music. It makes me want to nap.