Today, I don't like anyone or anything. I know that I'm being childish, but I guess that I just am childish, some of the time. Maybe a lot of the time.

I don't like seeing people treat other people badly. And I like it even less when they follow that up with being nice to me. It just makes me feel terrible. It makes me feel like a part of how awful they can be. It makes me scowl and walk away, because I want to say something, but am afraid of being mean myself. Because I can, at times, be awfully good at being mean.

There are good things. There were times today when my smile was completely genuine. At one point I was in a room, a room that I love, full of switches and knobs that light up in complicated ways. Being in that room can be like being on a spaceship, if you look at it from the right angle. There's a computer in that room with keys that are words. There are a certain limited number of nouns, verbs, and prepositions, and commands have to be typed in the form of somewhat grammatically correct sentences. The best thing about that is that if you don't remember, or have never known, a specific command, you can guess, just by thinking about the way you would phrase things if you were talking to a person. Or, I guess, if you were talking to a robot, because there is the need to keep things as simple and direct as possible. Even if you get it wrong it's kind of great, because the computer responds by saying, "I don't understand." Not out loud, but it's easy enough to imagine the sort of sympathetic voice it might have. I love that computer. So, yeah, there are good things.

I just want to marry a lighthouse keeper and live in his lighthouse with him. Or maybe a windmill. Windmills can have keepers, can't they?