You see, that's what I've been trying to say...

He took me out on the roof last night to see the moon. I was freezing in a thin sweater with the cuffs pulled down over my hands. He just stood there drinking coffee, with steam rising out of his cup. He seemed, for the first time, to be almost completely harmless. And I felt so harmful. I haven't been being fair. So, I thanked him for showing me the moon, and then I left. I don't think he knows what that meant. I don't think I know what that meant. It probably serves us both best if it meant goodbye. I'm being dramatic. It's embarrassing...

My mind's going in too many directions. It's only one that's really bothering me. One direction that seems to have the ability to pop up in the way of all of the other directions I'm trying to go in. Or maybe I keep veering off towards it, because it's where my heart wants to go. And so I wind up, like last night, lying awake thinking about someone I've been trying not to think of this way for weeks. Someone that it's completely unreasonable for me to lie awake thinking of. This is embarrassing...

I'm being silly. I'm creating import where there isn't any. This music I'm listening to isn't helping at all. I need to stop thinking so much. I need to settle down this thing that's been spinning around inside of me. I need a walk out in the cold. I need to shiver myself normal again.