Pale says that I'm impossible to read. That he never knows what I mean by what I say. That he can't tell whether I'm happy or unhappy, sarcastic or sincere. I wanted to ask why he's trying to read me in the first place, but I didn't think he'd take it well. He seems to think I don't like him, when, actually, I like him very much. He tries to charm me. He isn't very good at it, but his ineptness itself is pretty charming, so I guess he is good at it, inadvertantly. When I saw him last night, he sort of shyly handed me a quarter, which I think was intended to elicit a smile, but puzzled hung around on my face for a while before smile arrived. I would just come out and tell him that I think he's great, but I'm convinced he'd take it as sarcasm. I'd like us to be real friends, but I think it will take some slow and steady work on my part. I don't know if I'll do it.

Have I mentioned the snow at all? That was pretty good. On Friday morning, the morning it started, I had to get up at six to assist someone. I shivered my way from the subway into the building while half asleep, and the sky was perfectly clear. No snow, not even any promising clouds. By the time I stepped back outside, several hours later, it was as though it had been snowing forever. It was like I'd been inside for months. And even though I knew that it was supposed to snow, because the weatherman had told me so, I guess I never believe in the weather forecast, so the whole thing was more startling than it should have been, which made it more fun than it should have been. Which was pretty good, because snow is pretty fun to start with. And Saturday night, walking home in the dark, with snow drifting through the slats in the scaffolding, and swirling around me while I listened to Lloyd's Register, I just don't know. It was perfect. I wanted that walk home to last forever...

So, I haven't been in the best mood, for a few reasons, but things are looking up, I think. Some of the things that have been troubling me are gone now, and there are a couple of parties coming up that I'm really looking forward to. Sonny's coming to one of them with me. He's one of my favorites. I think he was built to be my friend. So, that will be really good. And... I don't know, lots of things, I guess. I think I'm going to try to focus on making better what I can and trying not to let what I can't control get to me as much. I indulge myself too much, emotionally, and it's just no good.

I had more to talk about today, but I can't seem to keep track of myself. I've been inside all day, and I think that I need to get out for a while. I'll wrap this up by saying that any mood can be at least slightly improved by spending a few moments with an anagram generator. I tucked my name into one looking for a pseudonym (because you never know when you'll need one) and some wonderful things came flying out of it. My favorite was Alarmist Monsoon. It's irresistible, isn't it? There were also some good phrases, but I won't get into that, because the list goes on nearly forever, as I sometimes do, but I'm trying to get better about that, so...

p.s. I hope...I don't know. I hope good things, I guess.