First, I need to say that today has been great... and sad, and also great. And sad... I love all of these terrible boys I've spent the last several months with. Even the one I don't like is pretty good. He makes me smile enough to be worth my while. And I'm somewhat drunk, so I know that what I'm writing is true...

Also, and this is unrelated, it confounds me that I can care so much about someone who, realistically, is a stranger to me. To hear, or, I should say, to read that he was hurt made my eyes well up and my throat go tight. Is it healthy to have strong feelings about someone you've never met? Maybe not, but I've got them. It wouldn't be the first unhealthy thing I've done... The fact that something could have gone so wrong for him so long ago and I've only recently learned of it reinforces the fact that we really are strangers, but it doesn't make me care any less. I want so badly to comfort him somehow, but the distance between us renders me helpless. Which may be a good thing, because he probably doesn't particularly need or want my comfort. Because, in the ways in which it counts, I really am a stranger.

Today I'm packed with more emotion than even I know what to do with, I guess. And it's coming from more than one direction. And these songs I'm listening to definitely are killing me. In the best way possible. Every single one of them is saying exactly what I need it to. Oh, what am I supposed to do with me?