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When the day gets away from me, and there are only three minutes until the end of Selected Shorts, I race to the radio anyway, because getting there in time for the theme music at the end can be enough, sometimes. Enough, at least to get me through the rest of the day. I feel like a body that's spent the day in bed, even though I've been pretty much anywhere but. I'm feverish. At first I thought it was an overreaction of my cold hands, but now even the hands are hot. I feel like I might float away, my head wrapped safely in cotton... I finally forced myself to watch the end, and now the Forsytes and I are through. When she cried like the world was ending, I could feel it in my throat. I used to be a wheel that knew how to squeak. There are some feelings you'll always remember, and I'm glad for it. Maybe all that heartache is where the fever came from. I'm furious at all of them, every single Forsyte, even those that are Darties. And I'm a bit concerned about Mr. Mont.Out of nowhere comes just the song I'm thinking of, my second favorite of the day. Or maybe the third. Also, I have a sinking feeling. The idea popped into my head and won't pop back out. Could I have been such a terribly careless girl? I'm afraid of the answer. It may be the first time I'm realizing how delicate this thing is, and the feeling keeps sinking... And there's nothing to do except dwell on it until morning.
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