Um...I say that a lot. I didn't know that before. Maybe I didn't say it so much before. Maybe I only say it in certain situations. There are plenty of things I should say, but, more than anything else, all I seem to say is um... Also, I... I'm not sure. This week has been strange. I'm not feeling entirely entire lately, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I wonder if not asking difficult questions can seem too much like not caring.

With headphones on, the feet run to my right ear. Which reminds me of a cold day in the park. His sneakers were like the feet of stormtroopers, flying across the ice... I love that annoying kid. I wish I could take care of him. He feels like a second chance. And this song is killing killing killing me. It's too true for my own good. This year, I think, is too big to get a proper hold on... If it were like one of those puzzles, with pieces in a sort of grid, all out of order with one spot empty, and two dimensions to move them around in... I don't recall ever being very good at those, but at least it would be a place to start.

The other day, when I went to the post office, the clerk said, "It will be delivered on Friday." She said it with such confidence. I hope it's true. The post office usually doesn't like to make promises. It felt sort of magical, like she was seeing the future.