Several things:

Jackpot and I talk fairly often about what would make a good epitaph. My current favorite is, "you pushed me too far..." A person reading that couldn't be too surprised to see a decaying hand reach up out of the grave, could they? It's sad and menacing at the same time.

It was a terrible dream last night, except for the trick with the airplanes, like a rodeo with giant flying metal horses. And when we were sitting in the front seat of the car I took my sweater off because it was hot on Halloween. Your hair is brown now, but you have no face.

I asked, "How was he?" and he said, "He was... he was really Canadian." And then we both sort of half-sighed, half-smiled. Or I sighed and he smiled, but I prefer it the other way.

Today I heard Trackstar and it made me think of T.B. I never thought about his initials before. If I still knew him, the next time I saw him I'd call him tuberculosis. That I can get excited about something like that might say more about me than I'd like.

Unix called me, which is sort of fantastic, because I was never going to call him again, and that would have been sad. Now even if most of what we said is just talk, I'll at least see him on the 30th, and we'll have fun whether we want to or not. I feel that I've sunken shoulder deep into a few people, and it's a relief to know that I can.

My right hip aches sometimes, when I haven't gotten much sleep but don't feel sleepy. In the back of my head I think of it as though the bone has been hollowed out and filled with some kind of achening poison.

That one part pops into my head all of the time. - Dennis could be heard asking aloud, "What are The Rules?" - That capital The really gets me.

Could we just pick one day on which everyone decides to be on my team? All of this back and forth is giving me a sore throat. It's hardest on Sundays.

There seems to be a team at work taking the songs that do or have mattered to me and dropping them into the most terrible places, so that the juxtaposition might turn my feelings upside around. The song and I look at each other uncomfortably and try to pretend we don't recognize each other.

I'm jealous of him. It's not only because he's brilliant, but because he has good aim with it. I would happily resign myself to dullness if I could get a good throw in.

Occasionally you hear something you've heard over and over, but it's different, because you're remembering the way you used to hear it, remembering what it sounded like at the start. She said that right away there was something about the way I talked that made her think that I was someone she could understand. Everything is so clear at the beginning, all straight lines and flat surfaces. Sometimes as you're getting to know someone there's a point at which you like them as well as you ever will, and you realize it's all downhill from there.

"Seven hundred and seventy-seven times lovelier than anything I've ever seen."

Sometimes I know everything. I know just what to do and just who I am, and if feels like my heart is beating only because I told it to, and it wants to please me.

It was forever ago, and I can't remember why we would have been in Times Square. There were something like seven of us, practically shaking from a lack of sleep and a surplus of other things. Suddenly someone shouts, "Run!" and we don't know why, but we take off full speed down the street, screaming and laughing and frightening the odd middle of the night pedestrian. It was scary and exciting and impossible to care about anything except running as fast as we could, and turning the air into wind as we passed through it.

I take the stairs down every time, because it's just high up enough but not too high, always faster than the elevator. The staircase is enclosed and almost always empty, and I lose all sense of propriety, tumbling down them like a little kid, singing bits of nonsense to myself.

It's shaped like a star, and not a regret exactly, but it weighs on me at times.

I think that this diary is bad for business. I could be sure of it if I had a better idea of exactly the sort of business I'm meant to be running. It needs to be different. Or I do.