Ohhhhh...

Today I'm cold. I nearly complained about it, but then remembered that this is the sort of summer I've always wanted, some hot days and some cool days, but the temperature mostly hanging around in the seventies. And plenty of pouring, pouring rain. So, that's fine, I guess.

This chair has wheels, and on this wooden floor it sometimes rolls too freely. Once in a while, I think it will roll away and I'll find myself lying stretched out along the floor. It wouldn't be so bad. I feel so serious lately, all drifty-eyed and downturned lips until the game starts. I think that certain people are ruining me, and I'm helping them. I meant to go into hiding for a bit to straighten things out, but... I guess that will have to wait until next week. I need at least one week with no action in it. I need some more time alone. I need to stop listening to this music, which is truly driving me dead.

I have that habit, I'll listen to the same thing over and over, until I don't know how to get out. If Ian were here, I'd say, "Remember when you were nineteen and I was twenty, how everyone wanted to kill us because we wouldn't stop playing that song?" And he would remember. I miss him. I don't want a big deal, but the Captain is being sweet. She said she'd email everyone who should be there, checking with me to see that she hadn't left anyone off of the list. I wish I could add Ian, but he's too far away. Why can't everyone I want around be here? There are plenty of people I'd be willing to trade them for.

When a stranger turns out to be someone other than who you expected, it's... not so bad, really. It's jarring for a second, but then you realize that strangers are strangers, and, "Good for him!" And then it's high fives all around. It's a little more troublesome when someone who isn't supposed to be a stranger turns out to be one. Or when you realize you've forgotten what familiarity sounds like. Oh, that doesn't make any sense. Maybe it's time to roll back and stretch out along the floor.