I went into the 99 cents store yesterday looking for string and came out with the greatest pink nail polish I have ever seen. It is a truly horrifying color. All day long, I catch glimpses of my fingertips and I love it more and more. Also, and the nail polish may or may not be responsible for this, I finally chose a pair of eyeglasses. They'll be ready in a week. I'm terribly excited! They're completely ordinary glasses, and I make a big deal out of nothing, but I'm terribly excited!

So, an unexpected thing has happened. I now have a cellular telephone. I never wanted one, but now that I have it, I'm going to try to enjoy it. It's like a walkie talkie that fits in the palm of my hand! Manuals for its operation are available on the internet in thirty-four languages! Also, I can tear off its outsides and put new outsides on, and I'm looking forward to it. So far only Jackpot and Falton even know that it exists, and only Jackpot has the number, because he's who I called to try it out. He has since tried calling me on it, only to find it necessary to call me on the regular telephone because the cellular one wasn't turned on.

"Your voice mail isn't set up yet?"
"No, I'll get to that soon."
"Well, why wasn't your phone on?"
"Because I wasn't using it."
"That's not how it works. When you have a cellphone, you leave it on all the time. Unless you're in a movie theater or something."
"I know. I just prefer to leave it off. I don't know if I have it in me to leave an appliance on 24 hours a day, whether I'm using it or not. It just feels wrong."
"You aren't meant for the future."
"Sure I am. I like robots and airplanes. It's not like I'm one of the Little House on the Prairie girls. My phone would blow their minds."

I have developed a habit in recent months of thinking of the Little House on the Prairie girls, and how various commonplace things would blow their minds. Automatic coffee makers. Electric pet fences. Those teeny tiny motorcycles. ATM machines. Car alarms that tell you to back away from the car. Photo booths that produce stickers. Photo booths in general. Ipods. Roombas. IMAX movies. Voice-activated anythings. Or maybe I'm wrong, and they would be curious about these things for a few moments and then go right back to writing on slates, catching scarlet fever, and listening to Pa play the fiddle. Just like nothing ever happened.