I'm losing track of time, a little. It feels much later than this. I'm waiting for a good time to go to bed. Television and the crossword puzzle are helping me wait. I hope I'm still good at sleep when it's time to lie down.

I watch the same video every week, Sunday night at ten o'clock. How can it always be the same episode? They used to alternate, and once in a while there'd be a new one. The colors are exactly the way I want colors to be. The colors are like gelatin, and I can smell how sweet they are. That vase is the color I want my walls to be. I know I'll make myself headache sick with paint, sleeping in sweaters with the windows wide open. This song has been on the list for months, but I wonder if it will last. Look at all that water. So many songs have come to and gone from that list. There's only so much room, but I miss the ones that have gone.

It feels like it's been too long since I've kissed anyone. New Year's Eve didn't count. I could, if I thought for a second, figure out exactly how long it's been. I don't want to, but it's so easy I already may have. It's that song that's making wonder this. That song and my fuzzy, sleepy head full of fuzzy, sleepy thoughts.