It's finally spring, for the second time this year, and the sun is just beginning to begin to go down. It would be nice to have a nap while it sets, and maybe I will.

I've stopped trying so hard to sleep, and instead I'm using my nights as just another part of the day, taking showers, getting my laundry together, reading magazine articles, watching movies, dusting furniture, dancing around the room to music that isn't loud but feels loud anyway, because all music feels loud at four in the morning. I'm much happier now than I was a couple of days ago, and my body will start sleeping at night when it feels like it.

Today I keep getting caught in daydreams, like when I was bringing my laundry home and went to the wrong floor, or when I was on the subway and realized that I wasn't sure what train I was on, or when I was walking to the bank and suddenly found myself up in Tudor City and had to wind my way down that staircase. This has been a nice daydreamy day, and tonight will be warm and full of good people, and if it rains again tomorrow I won't mind because the man behind the bar will smile at me when I walk in, and there will be twinkly music played on crazy instruments, and hopefully I'll see the person I want to see, and maybe have a walk below the expressway.

One other thing, one fun and unlikely thing, is that I've suddenly gotten fireworks on my mind, and I've recently begun to get excited about the the 4th of July. Terribly, and without cause! Here we are, not even June, and I'm looking for July. This summer is going to be the best one, the skirtiest long-haired summer I've had in years, and sometimes I feel I could faint with the thrill of it. It is too much.