I was talking to this girl about the times she's fainted. Fainting stories are fascinating. I've never fainted, but now that I hear how easy it is I'm afraid I will. Last night I was especially nervous coming up the stairs. I need someone to walk me everywhere, someone to link arms with, just in case.

Yesterday was not such a good day, and sometimes the reason an old friend is an old friend and not a current one is not only distance. Some people are just people that end up making you feel terrible, and they don't even mean to, so where do you place the blame?

I'm more hopeful about today. We've been waiting for weeks. I just want it to be quiet and still, and I only want to talk to people I really like, but mainly I just want to keep my mouth shut and quit being such a hassle all the time. What I'm coming to find more and more is that I'm kind of a hassle. Oh, I need a better mood than this, but I can't find one anywhere. It seems that yesterday broke everything.

Any minute now the phone will ring and I'll go buy the paper and a bottle of seltzer and get on the subway and wait for everything to get fantastic, and then it will and I will want to burst with it. Just thinking of it is making me find the mood I'm looking for, only a little bit now, but more and more all the time. Man, oh man.

p.s. Suddenly, everywhere I go, every stranger looks like you.