It's dark in here, and that woman's voice with that music behind it is nice. I don't know how to describe how I feel. The way the sound of the fan is something I can feel in my chest. My eyes are soft, my throat is sore, and I'm happy. The weather is so just right that when I went out earlier I actually smiled at the sky the way I smile at Cape Cod when she remembers the cherries. Just before, when that show was about to start, I decided that I wanted the newspaper. I managed to get dressed, start the tea and get out to the store and back, all during the hourly news break. The nearness of that store is my favorite thing, it practically lives in here with me, the kitten is practically my own. The kitten is practically a cat.

I have some things to do, and then back home for the evening. I've decided I can't do the show, and I'm a little sad for the missed Egg time, but it's better this way. I have to sleep tonight and up, up, up early to get in the car, to go watch my friend get married. To watch him wait to be told that he can go ahead and take his tie off, that he's had it on long enough. He really wasn't built for weddings, but he does love that girl.

I don't know how well I'm doing with my year of being good. I can be prone to selfishness. It's too easy for me to look at someone's position and focus on my place in it, making my feelings the only feelings. I have been making progress in the area of making amends for old misunderstandings, so that's something. It feels good to patch things up and find how much easier it is than being on guard. The key is to choose carefully, the key is to move slowly.

Man, Sam just called to tell me where he is, to make me jealous, and it worked. I have to get out of here and on to being happy on the outside, where the people are. First I have to find out what that song is, and then finish this tea before it goes cold, and then out, out, out making plans, smiling at the sky, smiling at the trees, smiling at the kids who make too much great noise. This is a really good feeling, this one right now.

p.s. Today, tomorrow, the day after, the day after that? I don't know when, but have a good trip.