I don't know what to say anymore, every sentence seems like the wrong sentence. I could say that last night was weird, but so much seems weird lately that it doesn't really mean anything. Danger's building had secretly polite stoop kids, so that was nice and familiar. On the walk to the bar we saw about fifteen different interesting things, things that seemed more like things I'd see while asleep than awake. I seemed to be the only one who cared, though I didn't say anything. Maybe everyone else cared too, but they were all keeping it to themselves. In the bar I heard a third of a record I've never heard anyone play before, and it made me too happy. Danger and I made friends of strangers and she nearly killed their fish, though she was only trying to help. I said a lot of things that I didn't mean, but I couldn't take them back, I could only say more. There were other things that happened, but I don't guess that they matter much.

Today I kept up the tradition of waking up confused as to what day it was. I had a walk and examined a tree at the far end of the block. I think it will be the first to lose all of its leaves. Happily, I recognized it as a maple. I'm making a tree map in my head, from one end of the block to the other, across the street and back the other way. I think there are four or five different kinds, I think it will be good. When the leaves are gone I'll learn the branches, and then I'll get to keep those trees forever.

I have a thousand pages left to cement. Well, not a thousand, but a lot. It takes longer than I'd thought. I like doing it, I like the way the pages are heavy afterwards. I had no idea how good that is. Also, it's nice because it feels like I'm taking whatever residual confusing emotional stuff there is and cementing it right into the book, and if a book can't hold onto it for me, what can? I'm in a nicer mood than I've been in in a while. Today's been the perfect sort of Sunday, quiet and slow and easy, with the radio on softly in the background and another new Foyle, maybe with Spooks now to keep me company while I get some more pages done. I've been saving them, but I don't know how much longer I can last.