So, I don't seem to know how to use the internet anymore. This morning I took some quiz, the results of which were horrifying. I put it all in here, but then I couldn't take it and had to get rid of it. The thing about that quiz that killed me was that the results were basically a list of my worst fears. After I went through the colors the first time, while I was waiting for the clock to run down, I couldn't help thinking about the colors and the order I would choose them in, but when I got to it I just couldn't. Once I saw them again the order I needed to choose them in got completely twisted around, and I was so certain of it. I went through it really quickly. I feel ridiculous about it, but I think I want to take that quiz over and over for the rest of my internet life. I want different results.

Early this morning it rained so hard all of a sudden, and that was pretty good. The sound of it made me have to go to the window to look. I love the way everything looks when it rains like that, it reminds me of thunderstorms in the summer when I was seven or eight. It reminds me of standng in front of the bathroom window watching people run for a dry place, the radio on the windowsill set to that station I wish I could listen to now, that station that doesn't exist anymore. When it first rained this morning it was still dark out, and I should have been asleep, but my body can't tell the time here anymore. It wants to live in a different time zone, and it's trying to bully me into it by making me feel awake at four in the morning and drowsy at four in the afternoon.

Anyway, I'm in the middle of a five star day, apparently. I've been waiting for something fantastic to happen. I've been having an especially clumsy week, so I suppose just the fact that I haven't hurt myself today gets me a couple of stars. My injuries have seemed limited to my joints. I just keep whacking them into things. My knee, my ankle, the knuckle down at the base of my thumb. My shoulder is still tender from a doorway I walked into the other day, and I just keep waiting for a bruise that doesn't come. The stars must be keeping it away. I want the stars to arrange things so that I feel awake until about nine o'clock at which point the rain starts pouring pouring and I go happily to bed. I want to dream about a life in the woods or possibly at some sort of abandoned carnival, if that's not too much to ask. Or even if it is.