Is this how fall works, sorting things out for you and making everything feel normal again? Last night was a lot of, "Where have you been? I missed you," and I shrugged and smiled a lot, and it was nice and familiar and darkish and I'm glad I left it alone all summer, because I needed the break. I found out that the best way to be invited somewhere is to have someone you really like say, "You'd love to come!" I couldn't disagree. I watched baseball and talked about it, which was fun because I don't know anything about baseball. I have a crush, temporarily, on Other Sam. I wondered about people and they were suddenly sitting next to me. Everyone's got a new fall haircut, and I like seeing their necks.

Last night may have knocked me out of my recent best ever/worst ever sleep schedule, which consisted of sleeping twelve hours one night and zero hours the next. It sounds horrible, but it has its merits. All anxiety over falling asleep is completely eliminated, because I'm either not trying at all or am going to fall asleep no matter what I do, and it's just a matter of getting to the bed first. (There were couple of times when I sort of fell asleep in a chair for a little while.) And while it was probably bad for me in ways beyond the possibility that on days after not sleeping I might tip over at any time (off of a subway platform, out of a window), the average amount of sleep I was getting wasn't bad. Yesterday followed a night of no sleep, and I probably would have been in bed by eight if I hadn't gone out, but I ended up not getting to bed until around one and then up at seven-thirty, and it's all so reasonable.

I think this weather is supposed to be making me gloomy, but instead it's just making me calm.