Today it was forty-two degrees and felt like spring to me. People are going to funerals and getting engaged, and is this the age when life begins to happen in unavoidable ways? Sometimes it's like I'm walking through life with a layer of warm towels wrapped around my head. I live in a dream world of sorts. I don't think anyone else will ever really understand, and I don't know that they should.

I sleep a lot, suddenly. I think I'm making up for all those nights awake, all at once. How long will it take for it all to be even? Maybe it isn't even so much, but it feels like too much. I don't trust this much sleep. I haven't been feeling well, and what else is there to blame? I feel as though I've swallowed a handful of pennies, and they are now becoming a permanent part of my body and poisoning me all at once.

This is a lot of complaining. Did I mention how it felt like spring? Today the birds were jumping out of trees like skydivers with missing parachutes. Walking up to one tree, I saw three jump at once, seeming to carry on a continuous conversation all the way down, keeping it up smoothly once they'd landed. A pleasantly crazy man approached from the opposite direction, also watching the birds. He stopped to talk to them, but they weren't interested, so they hopped right back up into the tree, this time with a fluttering of wings. He kept talking up to the tree at them, smiling and scolding and waving his arms. I liked him.

A lot doesn't feel right, and why is everything so far over to the side? I can sleep, but what I want more is to slow my thoughts down a little. In my head, all I keep doing is throwing my hands up into the air and shouting, "Who knows?" It will be okay, because it always is, because I am lucky despite myself. There's a dream where we're running, too fast, and I'm scared, and it's the happiest feeling in the world. The ground is flat and I can see so far, and I'm afraid that we'll go flying into the sky, holding hands. Nearly all of the clocks are right now, and I think it will help.